I feel like I am in a strange place.  I killed off my daughter emotionally and I feel the void but yet know instinctively that it is not safe for me to try to fill it by dealing with her anymore.  It's very strange, at this point in my life I feel in kind of a limbo...it's like I know that I am alive, but I don't feel that way and I don't believe it is just because of her, I feel like I am on the edge of knowing just who I am and where I am supposed to be going.  It's like when that word is at the tip of your tongue but you just can't seem to process it yet and it's frustrating as heck.  But hey I am alive and searching..........